Dear Love,
Tuesday night I taught my “BE Brave” in-person workshop and it was glorious.
The room was filled with a beautiful and diverse group of people who had come for one main motive- - to learn how to stop messing around already and start showing up in their lives like fear was NOT a problem. (If you were at the workshop Tuesday night- special shout out and virtual high five.)
I taught many different concepts in that hour and a half but there is one concept I want to share for all of those who were not there, and I would like to expand on it even deeper for all of those who were.
I started the workshop off by describing the definition of what brave is.
Google defines bravery as:
Enduring or facing unpleasant conditions without showing fear.
Uch. Excuse me while I throw up a little.
Ever wonder where the whole, “Boys shouldn’t cry’’ belief comes from? Well, I think this answers it for you.
That is why I shared my own personal new and improved definition of bravery.
I define bravery in two parts:
1. The most typically known and practiced version:
Bravery is being scared but deciding to do it anyway.
2. Less known definition:
Bravery is hearing the world around us say “do it!” (or sometimes don’t do it!) but, guided by our own inner knowing, deciding to do the exact opposite despite what others will think.
When most people think about bravery, they think about all the things that we DO to be brave such as: jump out of an airplane, dye our hair blue, hold a hard conversation with a loved one, start a podcast, speak up on stage, run a retreat or workshop etc. All 100% courageous moves.
But, most people don’t consider those moments when you say no to the voices of others as brave moments. Most would consider those decisions to be a moment of stupidity or recklessness. If you don’t listen to what the world thinks is wise for you, you are a total idiot. But, I just want to put it out there that truly, this could be the bravest moment of your life.
Let me give you an example of this that I gave to my workshop attendees two nights ago.
Years ago, my sister got connected to this very special family while in college who linked her to this organization that works with autistic children and families in a very progressive and alternative way. She was immediately blown away by the work they do there and the possibilities of how much this could change the lives of so many families supporting their autistic children. She spent years training in this program and working on her skills and then went on to build a very successful business. Autistic families all over the world knew about her and her work.
As her little sister, I sat back and watched in awe as she showed up on social media and in her webinars, when she came out with a book that was translated into a few different languages, and was flown all over the world to places like India, Moscow and the U.S. to speak at various conferences. Girl was living her dream, at this point in her life anyway.
But what happened after a few years of building this business was that she suddenly noticed that she wasn’t feeling like it was her dream anymore. She wasn’t enjoying the process of looking for the clients and all the other things it took to build and take care of a business. She finally made the bold decision to shut down the business even before she had anything lined up.
Now, I’ve seen my sister do MANY brave things in her day. The girl decided to hike Mt. Kilimanjaro on a whim and the next day she scraped together some hiking gear and she was up on that mountain for crying out loud. (One example of many) She is probably the bravest out of all 4 of us kids in my family. But I can’t express to you how I felt when she shared with me that she was closing up shop because she wasn’t feeling it anymore. The amount of respect and love I had for my sister was pretty out of control.
My parents completely did not understand.
People who have been watching her on social media and seeing how much she has to give and how successful she became, did not understand.
The only one who understood was her. (Well, and me.) And that’s what actually mattered to her the most.
And I will tell you this, one of the coolest things about my sister is that she doesn’t make me want to be more like her. She just makes me want to be more of ME. And when you feel this, you know you are in the presence of a real mentor.
The difference between brave actions like me deciding to reach out to a huge coach who has a massive following and 50K followers on Instagram to ask if I can be on her podcast (I did this! How cool am I?!) versus my sister deciding to leave her very successful career and business even though my parents and the world thought she was nuts (How cool is she?!) simply comes down to the emotions these actions evoke.
You can do a brave action that feels thrilling and exciting and has you tingling from head to toe, or you can do a brave action (or inaction) that is quieter and more grounded allowing you to listen in to your own inner wisdom.
Both are profound and both take a whole lot of guts.
Side note, I once read an article somewhere that 52% of entrepreneurs started becoming entrepreneurs at the age of 63+. This shocked the hell out of me because I always thought that most entrepreneurs were incredibly young and that I was late to the game. I went on to read that the reason that so many people started entrepreneurship at such an older age is because for most of them, their parents had passed away and they felt a deeper freedom to do and be whoever they wanted to be now. Fascinating right? And incredibly disheartening.
We are all living so deeply in a world where we feel like we can’t be ourselves because it will hurt other people. (Ahem, people pleasing much.)
But what if we believed that we can’t NOT be ourselves because it will hurt people? How the world has been so desperately waiting for us to step up and shine bright and be ourselves. How would that change our lives?
Something I see in every single one of my clients is a desire to make the “right” decision… the one that is a sure thing. The one that won’t disappoint anyone and the one that will feel safe.
The truth is that if you’re seeking growth… Playing it safe is only guaranteed to keep you exactly where you are right now. Not one inch closer to your truth.
Growth comes from the risks you take. The decisions that make you hold your breath a little and your heart pound a lot.
And risk means there’s a chance it won’t work and other people will be disappointed.
Does that scare the crap out of you? Honest question. Would love to hear what you have to say. Hit reply to this email and share with me your thoughts about all of this, any of this or maybe whatever is on your mind.
Loving YOU,
T
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