I used to never be able to make decisions. Oh Lord, I was bad at those decision things.
I’d hem and haw for so long that my family or friends would already be off doing the thing that I was still just thinking about doing. It was bad. Think endless pro-cons list and full capacity brain chatter if I should or if I shouldn’t.
One time in college my friends and I were coming back late from a night out and stopped at the local bodega to pick up some snacks.
As we all entered the bodega, my two best friends went straight for their candy of choice, paid for it, and were out the door happily munching their treat in a matter of seconds
(3 to be exact) while they waited for me.
I, on the other hand, could not decide. Salty vinegar chips or Heath Bar crunch??? This went on for a solid 5 minutes until someone else decided for me by coming in oh so casually, grabbing the last heath bar crunch, and heading to the cash register. And this kind of thing happened often. I’d put things off for so long that opportunities would expire and I’d conveniently be relieved of having to choose butt....also, inconveniently, left with epic opportunities lost forever.
So let me ask you a question:
Ever look at other people who are doing incredibly cool things and feel like such a loser because you aren’t doing those cool things too? Hi, that’s me.
Here’s what I was doing wrong: Not making decisions and therefore not implementing a damn thing.
Our decision-making tolerance is the most powerful skill we can hone. All our steps forward come from powerfully making decisions. Notice how I didn’t say “the specific decisions we make.” It’s not the decision but rather our ability to make a decision.
While I was asking everyone who had a heartbeat what they thought I should do, all those people doing cool things? Yeah- they were out doing them.
You ready to finally learn some hacks to make fast and effective decisions?
Know in advance that there is no such thing as a “bad” decision or even a “right” decision.
In any situation, we are all doing the best we can with the information that is available at the moment. FYI: This is also a great way to avoid the dreaded feeling of regret after a decision is made because if you truly know that at the time you’re doing the best you can with everything you have, that decision was right for you. Also important to note: The result of that decision gives us information for our next decision which means our next decision will be even closer to what we are wanting than our last. Best news, right?
2. Start making a million small decisions.
If you’re going back and forth on a big decision (Should I create a new offer? Should I move cities?) start making lots of smaller decisions that push the big decision along. Such as: I’m deciding that no matter what, I’m not going to be stressed while making this decision. Or: I’m deciding that this decision will be made by December 12th before we leave for our trip to Italy. Smaller decisions feel manageable, and keep you shuffling forward and practicing the art of decision-making.
3. STOP letting your brain lead the way, and START allowing your body to take charge
This is an important one. Your brain’s #1 job is to ensure you don’t go off and do something “stupid”. Now, how your brain defines stupid might be different than how we want to define stupidity such as: taking brave action to start your own business or creating boundaries when a close friend has been crossing the line. You know who really knows if a decision is right for you or not because she doesn’t live in the land of the past or the future? Your body. She is present. She is strong. She is real.
If you want one of my all-time favorite exercises I use for myself and my clients to drop into the body, drop me an email (you can find that in the contact info) and I’ll send it your way. It has a 99.99% success rate.
4. Start asking yourself the best damn questions
A lot of us look outside of ourselves for the answers. (Ahem, #StudentForLife)
We Google. We crowdsource. We Google again. Oh- and we Google :) And the thing is that it’s never about the lack of information when it comes to making a decision. Most of the time it’s about too much information and too many options.
Here are a few questions to get you started:
What do I know about the situation already? Download everything you already know.
Does this decision breathe life and love into my life or leave me feeling deflated?
If I wasn’t feeling confused, what would I do next?
Would me in 5 years from now make the same decision?
Why is it true that I can trust myself no matter what? List the reasons.
What can I remind myself when I want to go back on a decision?
By the way, you never told me, do you also have a hard time making decisions?
I ask because if I could help myself and numerous clients, I know I can guide you toward decision-making liberation as well.
Just imagine if a choice came your way and this time you calmly and clearly decided and moved forward with that decision like it was a stroll on a nice sandy beach.
I know you’ve been waiting to be relieved from this burden for quite some time and start to blaze some serious trails in your business.
Book a call with me. Let that be an easy decision.
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