This is the 4th day in a row where you’ve told yourself that you’re going to stick to what’s on your schedule and write a first draft of that workshop you’ve been wanting to create, and this is the 4th day in a row where you’ve found meaningless tasks (aka: delete photos on your phone, make everyone's bed in the house, watch episode 3 of Emily in Paris) to fill up those time slots instead.
So what gives??
Are you really just a loser that should probably just join a Harley motorcycle club and take off into the sunset because this business of yours is never gonna happen?
Maybe. But not because you are a loser and not because this business of yours is never gonna happen. (Maybe because of the driving off into the sunset part. That actually sounds like a good idea!)
But if you are committed to really getting unstuck so that you actually do what you told yourself you would do, hashtag “self-love", and hit the pillow at night with a prideful smile covering the entirety of your face, you’re gonna want to read this.
Together today, we are going to learn the 5 reasons folks initially get excited and motivated to get things done at the start of the day, but when it’s time to sit down and make the magic happen, they are a hot mess and just can’t get the needle moving forward.
Spoiler alert: It’s not your fault.
Also Spoiler alert: Knowing why you do it is 90% of the solution.
This is why it matters: because knowledge is everything. As soon as we become aware of and know what we are trying to achieve, things already shift and change for us. Suddenly we have leverage over our lives when before we had nada.
So let’s go starting with reason #1 why you can’t just get it done for the Love of Gd.
#1. Either you made the thing too important OR not important enough
Let’s say you decided to commit to doing 30 minutes of yoga every day for 30 days straight and on day 8 you wake up and have the thought: “I don’t really need to workout. I’m already pretty fit and feel good in my body so maybe I can just skip today. It probably wouldn’t matter anyway.” Or you wake up and have the thought “If I don't successfully complete these 30 days, I will always be that loser that can’t get anything done and ever get fit.”
Ya see how both will just drain the joy and motivation right out of a girl?
It doesn’t need to be SUPER important or SUPER awful if you don’t do it AND it doesn’t have to be something that you are super casual and “Whatev” about either. It needs to be something in the middle. A “I’m going to do this and this is a legit thing to want to do for myself and if for some reason I miss a day here and there- that’s okay too” kind of vibe.
You catch me?
2. You think you need to feel like it
This is normal AND not feeling like it is NOT a valid reason to not do it. I know that many of us think it is but it’s not. I mean, how often do you feel like leaving your house to get into the car to go grocery shopping? If you’re anything like me, you dread the grocery store, the crowds, the cold refrigerator section where I always forget to bring a little warm layer to not freeze my butt off, but yettt, every Wednesday I just go. And when I return from the store and unpack my groceries and put everything away I’m so glad I did it. And I’m so glad it’s over.
3. Not giving something a real chance
Very often we don’t give a new project at work, a new workout at the gym, a new anti-aging serum from the store a real chance. We try it out for 5 days and then like: “Oh- I guess it doesn’t work. What should I do now?”
This is one of trust. Trust that at some point, though you don’t know how and when, you will see the results of all your hard work. This is a really good one for all you entrepreneurs to really sink deep into. Probably one of the most important entrepreneur lessons. The entrepreneur that wins the game and creates a successful business is NOT the smartest one, the most personable one or even the one with the most connections. It’s the one that stayed in the game for as long as necessary. Period. Coming back to posting on Instagram day after day even if you’re not seeing your following growing at a rapid speed or you only get 6 likes and and one comment on a post you loved is next level cool. Next level cool that will actually be THE reason you get to the next level of your business.
4. We make it about us
This is a HUGE one. The second we start to listen to our own self doubts when wanting to create a new offer in our businesses is the second we stop serving the people we came to serve. It makes it very painful and much harder to take action because that is a lot of pressure to be proving your self-worth + the value of your business all at the same time. Sheesh. Anyone would run for the hills.
But what if people don’t sign up?
But what if people think what I’m trying to do is crazy?
But what if my content falls short and no one is excited about the new offer?
The second we make it about us, our brain doesn’t want to do the work. So stressful. But if we can start thinking about the people we want to help: aka: “I wonder who will see my post today who needs to hear this exact message? I’m so excited for them.” The work feels like an extension of who we are and it becomes light and fun.
5. Afraid of failure
What if people laugh at me?
What if people don’t know what I’m talking about?
What if people don’t like it?
What if it doesn't work and I don't get the results I want?
Yup- that’s gonna happen. In business (and life!) we just never know. No guarantee with anything. We learn and we try again. We must not make failure into the scariest thing that could ever happen to us. It’s just an uncomfortable emotion we feel inside of our bodies for a limited amount of time.
My coaching hack: Decide ahead of a project that you will fail at least 10 times throughout the process and then keep a running file (let's call it the “Flopping File”) and every time you deem something as a “failure” or a “flop” write it down like it’s a goal you’re aiming for.
You shared an email about your newest offer and not one person responded. Check.
You went to a gallery to try to get your artwork put up there and they said no. Check.
You did an Instagram LIVE and only one person joined. Check.
This will get us comfortable with the uncomfortable and the fact that life and business come with non-stop trial and error. That’s the name of the game. The more you fail, the more you win.
And you know what I also like to keep in my heart as I go at:
I will never reject myself and I will never consider myself a flop because as long as I’m trying and giving it a real go, I'm going to thank myself for doing really brave and courageous things in the name of building a business and being a real human- and this my friend, is winning.
And my final words, let this be known, you can and you WILL get moving and take real productive action in your life and business as soon as you learn why you do it.
You deserve to feel clear and courageous as you put confusion and self-doubt to the side while you dive into that work project that’s been waiting on you for quite some time.
Print out these 5 reasons why and put them up near your favorite work spot to remind you that nothing is wrong with you, you are a human trying your best to human, and you in fact will come back to do the work that is ready for you to shine your unique light on.
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